The Best Guest Ever...

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My decision or His?

Last Saturday (2/11/07), I’ve received the most unbelievable, weird and exciting yet scary news from my previous dance choreographer, whom I’ve been under for several years of my entire elementary and high school life. Wow! I don’t even know where and how to begin this. Sigh* I’m still searching for the right words to type in here. Haha…

Ok! Ok! So, let me just rewind things up a little bit just so you could get the entire picture of what I’m about to say here. Back when I was in my fourth year of high school, things started to become serious in my dancing. I was a scholar and had to balance up between my scholastics and my dancing. It was a heck of a fun time I had back then, despite all the responsibilities I had to face. But it sure was a memorable experience being a scholar. Bear in mind that it doesn’t mean I was a smart kid around being a scholar but, I had to work sooooo hard just to score my way up to be able to help my parents with the fees. Many times I felt like giving up and it sure was hard to put God first in all that I had to do coz I was just too focused on getting everything right according to my ways instead of His ways. Indeed a tough road but along the way, He never did let go of my hands.

So, how serious was serious? There was a plan set for the dance theatre team after the O’ Level fever and this particular plan was to bring the team to The Beijing Dance Academy for training (which is obviously located in China). It was a plan to pursue a course in the field of Choreography and Dance (Ballet). According to my research, which you can check for yourself in the link below, it’s a 3 years course to complete and what’s rather interesting is that Zhang Ziyi (an actress who appeared in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Rush Hour 2 and Memoirs of a Geisha) graduated in the same dance academy. At that time, my parents thought that it wasn’t a good idea to go that far just to take up a course in this field and I made a decision to stay around as well. Besides, it was only a plan during that time which I never thought it could really happen. I didn’t rely so much on “the plan” and therefore went on to college. This was 3 years ago…

Now (in 2007)! Speaking of the Big News, the plan was once again announced, and this time FOR REAL! My dance choreographer told me about the details and he left me with the decision. If I were to take this, it would happen somewhere next year. I mean, who wouldn’t think this is crazy. After all the prayers of whether God would still let me be in Brunei, He gave me an open door to have a proper working permit at the company I’m working for now, which means I’m no longer a voluntary student at my school. And now that my work situation is clear, for now, another door has opened. But the question now is, if it wasn’t me to decide and God instead, what would he choose for me? I mean, I enjoy being part of my workplace and having to deal with people who care despite the stress and all, but it’s normal. But I love dancing too, and it has always been my dream to be part of a dance academy. Nothing is ever easy from what I’ve learnt in life, but which ever pathway God chooses for me, I’ll accept. This time, I just ought to let Him take the lead and not make my own decision without committing all this in His hands.

Of course, getting into the Dance Academy is not that simple. If I choose to go there, I would have to take up Chinese classes to learn the language. Duh! Haha…Now, this is what I call crazy. Well, yes! Sure, I can say the basic “how are you” and “I love you” in Chinese but heck! Fluently??? It’ll probably take me YEARS to get it right. Hahaha… Probably even try to speak the language every now and then to practice. =S I just can’t imagine myself speaking Chinese fluently and I bet neither can you. Ahha.. Hmm…could this be one of those signs the Lord is showing me not to take this pathway??? Hahaha..only God knows!

Ah Well… Will just have to trust God on this one, whatever His will, may His will be done. I put this as a prayer request you guys. Please help pray that which ever decision made, will still have a purpose to serve Him in the right place. Whatever His mission is for me, may He help use me to make a difference in other people’s lives or even the world. Thank You! =)

Till then…
God Bless!

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Artistic ways...

Just a lil' something on expressing my love for art, fashion and some random inspirational photography. If you hadn't noticed, this is how i pour out my creativity. Color just brings life to everything and it certainly makes my dull day, bright! Yes! I know it's too girly for some of you guyz, but what can i say, a girl will always be a girl after all. Teehee...I'll share with you some of my favorite work of arts one day when i get the extra time. Just recently we had to re-format our PC and so, many needed softwares have to be re-installed for me to be able to do some of the uploading and stuff. It's not much yet though, but will certainly post more in the future. Adios for now...

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Just about giving up? You know who to call...

Today, didn't turn out very well for me. I do praise God for these kinds of challenges in life but its just soooo difficult to face. Heck! No one said it was going to be that easy walking this walk anyways. Sigh* I’m just so bummed out about work lately. Work has just been work for me and I don’t see the love in doing what I do. It’s becoming more like a drag now than something I look forward to in every 5 days of my week. At times I just had to break down and cry for not being able to take the load any longer.

Sure! I suppose some of you may be wondering how I could ever get stressed in my work place when all I do is sit around at the reception area, waiting for the day to end and all but heck! There’s just so much more to that than what you think… But I’ll just leave out the details. =P

Isaiah 40:28 says, “Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom,” and this struck me.

How inspiring is that? As every human being grows weary, strength is obtained from none other but Christ alone. He, who created us, builds us up as we fall and He completely understands what is going through our lives each day that passes by. When I meant by fall, I meant fall down on our knees in prayer, in desperation, in tears, and longing to be filled by the Holy Spirit. I for certain believe that the work I’m in (at present) is from God, and whatever obstacles I face is from Him. There is nothing we can’t handle and at times like these, is just one of those times our Faith is being tested.

Exodus 15:20 says, “The Lord is my Strength and my song; He has become my salvation. He is my God, and I will praise him, my father’s God, and I will exalt him.”

So there I have it! God is watching over me and I trust in Him. We just have to call upon the Lord for strength and guidance for He gives what He promises. So I commit to Him my troubles in work, and in EVERYTHING else. Will do my best to SMILE this time… =P

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