A Wake-up Call

One evening, I was awakened by a disturbing dream. I dreamt that I was at the highest floor of a very big castle and darkness was all that surrounded me. Looking down, all I could see was a bit of light that glowed from under, between the spiral staircase in which I stood unto. The dream was rather indistinct as I could only remember very little. But, this dream was a total scare as it felt so real. I recall falling from the highest floor, gravity pulling me down even in my sleep. I try to get out of the dream but I couldn’t even move. Felt like as though something was holding me back on the bed where I lay. I then started to say my prayers in the name of Jesus. It started to feel warm around and I heard whispers coming from a woman’s voice. I heard a soft voice saying “hello” repeatedly which felt so close to my ears…

…quickly got up with a big gasp of air and reached for my bible. I continuously said my prayers and was lead to a verse which God spoke to me in the book of Psalms 27.

1 The LORD is my light and my salvation—
whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life—
of whom shall I be afraid?

2 When evil men advance against me
to devour my flesh,
when my enemies and my foes attack me,
they will stumble and fall.

3 Though an army besiege me,
my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
even then will I be confident.

4 One thing I ask of the LORD,
this is what I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
and to seek him in his temple.

5 For in the day of trouble
he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle
and set me high upon a rock.

6 Then my head will be exalted
above the enemies who surround me;
at his tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make music to the LORD.

7 Hear my voice when I call, O LORD;
be merciful to me and answer me.

8 My heart says of you, "Seek his face!"
Your face, LORD, I will seek.

9 Do not hide your face from me,
do not turn your servant away in anger;
you have been my helper.
Do not reject me or forsake me,
O God my Savior.

10 Though my father and mother forsake me,
the LORD will receive me.

11 Teach me your way, O LORD;
lead me in a straight path
because of my oppressors.

12 Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes,
for false witnesses rise up against me,
breathing out violence.

13 I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living.

14 Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.

Reading this powerful chapter is a realization. It showed how weak and dry I’ve been in my relationship with God lately and I was reminded by how much HE loves me no matter how much I’ve hurt Him. I have been so occupied at work and been busy worrying about how my tomorrow is going to be like. It’s like reading a book by skipping chapters and just being anxious about how the story is going to end. Doing so, the story just gets even more twisted. And that’s just how it’s been for me lately, lost and exhausted. Exhausted looking for answers to my questions and lost that I’ve been looking in the wrong places.

This verse is simply the answer and the dream which I had was a total wake-up call. I’ve been drawn away from the light that God has provided me and in my dream the darkness represented it all. The fear I faced was how little faith I had to face situations and because God knows me better than anyone else, He certainly knows when to catch me when i fall. God truly saves and believe me when I say He loves You! His love is the most amazing thing you'll ever experience in life. =) I pray that someday you'll experience this wonderful feeling, to be loved by Him and to Love in return.

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Holiday fever is ON!

Exactly 12 days in counting and I’m all ready to go to the PI. Yes baby! My hometown Pilipinas!!! ^_^ Can’t wait! Can’t wait! While I’m here at work, obviously my lazy head isn’t and I so wish I didn’t have to go to work this weekend. Not Good! Not so good that I’ll be working this weekend. Oh well, maybe I’ll just daydream about the holidays so I won’t realize the pressure at work. Haha…nice!

Christmas is just around the corner too. Woohoo! Again, Can’t wait! Of course celebrating Christmas in the PI is so much more exciting. I get to spend it with my loved ones back in my hometown. Oooh.. so exciting! Hehe… Can’t wait to set foot in my grand parent’s home where the good food is always found. Mmm…Yummy! Lola (which is Grand ma in tagalog), don’t forget to make some of your special Mango Refrigerated Cakes when we get there. HAHA.. Ok! Ok! I’ll come and help you make for everyone else. Mmm…

Plus! My cousin on my mom’s side is getting married on the 15^th Dec at Marinduque. It’s a beautiful place outskirt Manila which we haven’t visited for more than 7 years already. We have to travel by boat to get there and God willing it’ll be a sunny day. This is where some of the beautiful beaches are located, just beautiful...

On the other hand, My hometown has its beautiful side too. Mabuhay Pilipinas!

Manila City (Day)

Manila City (Night)

Manila Cathedral

v Mapa

Of course theres so much more to this but this is all i could share for the mean time. I owe you guys lotsa pictures and I promise I’ll post it up as soon I as I get em’…In 12 DAYS time!!! ^_^

God Bless

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Camera Shy? Pfft..

So, PDS School is celebrating its 15th year anniversary this 23rd November and I was invited to be a part of it. How? To be in an interview! My first reaction was like, “You must be freakin’ kidding right?!?” I am and never was good with video cameras and the two of us never get along so easily. You give me a camera is FINE, but not INFRONT of a Video Cam. LOL. So, did I have a choice? HAHA.. Hell No! I had to go with it dead or alive. Haha..ok ok!

Questionnaires were handed 2 days before hand and I went completely blank. Managed to prepare only the night before and what do you know, that’s when my brain started working. Haha.. Memories started flashing back and it just left me smiling. Talk about a maniac smiling to herself. Pfft… =P My 11 years with the school had been crazy amazing. Never thought I could have gone this far. I recall having to wear my first tutu at the age of 5 and feeling lazy to take them off after classes.

Pictures, Pictures, Pictures! They leave a lot of memories to day dream about. Haiz* those were the days, where you just miss being a student again. But oh well, time sure flies. Will share some pics when i get the time...

So how did the interview go? Surprisingly not so bad, haha! Earlier that morning, before heading to the studio I was surprised the butterflies didn’t visit my stomach. Pfft..LAME! In other words, wasn’t feeling consciously nervous. AHAHAH… In fact, this was the first time I ever started liking being in front of a video camera. Hmmm.. must practice more. OH PEH-LEASE! =P It was fun and certainly exciting despite all other things. I thank God for the opportunity and will MOST-DEFFIENITLE watch the vid during the grad ceremony. Haha..

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Creativity Lane

Played around with Color (Emo Theme)

Oil Paint (Mosaic)

Sketch of a Mermaid Sleeping (Done at work) =P

A Painting I've done for my bedroom

Black & White pastels (The Love of Christ)

Random Imagination (2002)

Oil Pastels (Family Theme)

A Painting I've done on one of my exams in 2001

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My Childhood Moments...

These are just some of the baby pics i picked out from our old albums. Haha..those were the days... wishing i was as free as child again.. =P

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Ladies who rock out for Christ...

BarlowGirl's new album "How Can We Be Silent" is something to look out for. They are just one of those talented bands who claim themselves to have trouble shutting up about being open with their faith in their music and on stage. Interesting i might add as each member of the band plays their own instruments. Now, who dare sez that ladies can't Rock?! haha.. Should check them out at YouTube or even visit their website at: http://www.barlowgirl.com/ Sadly, i don't think you can find their album here in Brunei. BooHoo... Will find a way. HUHU...

God Bless! =)

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The Best Guest Ever...

Please click on the pictures above to enlarge.

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My decision or His?

Last Saturday (2/11/07), I’ve received the most unbelievable, weird and exciting yet scary news from my previous dance choreographer, whom I’ve been under for several years of my entire elementary and high school life. Wow! I don’t even know where and how to begin this. Sigh* I’m still searching for the right words to type in here. Haha…

Ok! Ok! So, let me just rewind things up a little bit just so you could get the entire picture of what I’m about to say here. Back when I was in my fourth year of high school, things started to become serious in my dancing. I was a scholar and had to balance up between my scholastics and my dancing. It was a heck of a fun time I had back then, despite all the responsibilities I had to face. But it sure was a memorable experience being a scholar. Bear in mind that it doesn’t mean I was a smart kid around being a scholar but, I had to work sooooo hard just to score my way up to be able to help my parents with the fees. Many times I felt like giving up and it sure was hard to put God first in all that I had to do coz I was just too focused on getting everything right according to my ways instead of His ways. Indeed a tough road but along the way, He never did let go of my hands.

So, how serious was serious? There was a plan set for the dance theatre team after the O’ Level fever and this particular plan was to bring the team to The Beijing Dance Academy for training (which is obviously located in China). It was a plan to pursue a course in the field of Choreography and Dance (Ballet). According to my research, which you can check for yourself in the link below, it’s a 3 years course to complete and what’s rather interesting is that Zhang Ziyi (an actress who appeared in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Rush Hour 2 and Memoirs of a Geisha) graduated in the same dance academy. At that time, my parents thought that it wasn’t a good idea to go that far just to take up a course in this field and I made a decision to stay around as well. Besides, it was only a plan during that time which I never thought it could really happen. I didn’t rely so much on “the plan” and therefore went on to college. This was 3 years ago…

Now (in 2007)! Speaking of the Big News, the plan was once again announced, and this time FOR REAL! My dance choreographer told me about the details and he left me with the decision. If I were to take this, it would happen somewhere next year. I mean, who wouldn’t think this is crazy. After all the prayers of whether God would still let me be in Brunei, He gave me an open door to have a proper working permit at the company I’m working for now, which means I’m no longer a voluntary student at my school. And now that my work situation is clear, for now, another door has opened. But the question now is, if it wasn’t me to decide and God instead, what would he choose for me? I mean, I enjoy being part of my workplace and having to deal with people who care despite the stress and all, but it’s normal. But I love dancing too, and it has always been my dream to be part of a dance academy. Nothing is ever easy from what I’ve learnt in life, but which ever pathway God chooses for me, I’ll accept. This time, I just ought to let Him take the lead and not make my own decision without committing all this in His hands.

Of course, getting into the Dance Academy is not that simple. If I choose to go there, I would have to take up Chinese classes to learn the language. Duh! Haha…Now, this is what I call crazy. Well, yes! Sure, I can say the basic “how are you” and “I love you” in Chinese but heck! Fluently??? It’ll probably take me YEARS to get it right. Hahaha… Probably even try to speak the language every now and then to practice. =S I just can’t imagine myself speaking Chinese fluently and I bet neither can you. Ahha.. Hmm…could this be one of those signs the Lord is showing me not to take this pathway??? Hahaha..only God knows!

Ah Well… Will just have to trust God on this one, whatever His will, may His will be done. I put this as a prayer request you guys. Please help pray that which ever decision made, will still have a purpose to serve Him in the right place. Whatever His mission is for me, may He help use me to make a difference in other people’s lives or even the world. Thank You! =)

Till then…
God Bless!

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Artistic ways...

Just a lil' something on expressing my love for art, fashion and some random inspirational photography. If you hadn't noticed, this is how i pour out my creativity. Color just brings life to everything and it certainly makes my dull day, bright! Yes! I know it's too girly for some of you guyz, but what can i say, a girl will always be a girl after all. Teehee...I'll share with you some of my favorite work of arts one day when i get the extra time. Just recently we had to re-format our PC and so, many needed softwares have to be re-installed for me to be able to do some of the uploading and stuff. It's not much yet though, but will certainly post more in the future. Adios for now...

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Just about giving up? You know who to call...

Today, didn't turn out very well for me. I do praise God for these kinds of challenges in life but its just soooo difficult to face. Heck! No one said it was going to be that easy walking this walk anyways. Sigh* I’m just so bummed out about work lately. Work has just been work for me and I don’t see the love in doing what I do. It’s becoming more like a drag now than something I look forward to in every 5 days of my week. At times I just had to break down and cry for not being able to take the load any longer.

Sure! I suppose some of you may be wondering how I could ever get stressed in my work place when all I do is sit around at the reception area, waiting for the day to end and all but heck! There’s just so much more to that than what you think… But I’ll just leave out the details. =P

Isaiah 40:28 says, “Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom,” and this struck me.

How inspiring is that? As every human being grows weary, strength is obtained from none other but Christ alone. He, who created us, builds us up as we fall and He completely understands what is going through our lives each day that passes by. When I meant by fall, I meant fall down on our knees in prayer, in desperation, in tears, and longing to be filled by the Holy Spirit. I for certain believe that the work I’m in (at present) is from God, and whatever obstacles I face is from Him. There is nothing we can’t handle and at times like these, is just one of those times our Faith is being tested.

Exodus 15:20 says, “The Lord is my Strength and my song; He has become my salvation. He is my God, and I will praise him, my father’s God, and I will exalt him.”

So there I have it! God is watching over me and I trust in Him. We just have to call upon the Lord for strength and guidance for He gives what He promises. So I commit to Him my troubles in work, and in EVERYTHING else. Will do my best to SMILE this time… =P

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